


The (not so) ordinary life of Tsukishima Kei

by Syesta



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Detectives, Detective Noir, Detective!Tsukishima, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Mystery, Science Fiction Elements, Slow Burn, alien!bokuto, detective!kuroo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syesta/pseuds/Syesta
Summary: The guide for the preservation of Tsukishima Kei’s ordinary life consisted of two things:1. Staying away from troubling business.2. Keeping Yamaguchi away from crop circles and Bokuto Koutarou.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Kudos: 15





	The (not so) ordinary life of Tsukishima Kei

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read this, you may want to know that English is not my first language. I actually am writing this same story in Spanish, but I just noticed that the script, and especifically the dialogues, would translate way better in English. And why not, by doing that I could actually put on practice my grammar. So, I apologize in advance for any spelling mistake or weird way of phrasing things you may end up reading.

It was the third time in the current month that the pair of internal affairs’ inspectors from the Japanese Metropolitan Police excused themselves inside the witness protection’s residency for further research on the case 3334S, and, any relevant testimony they’d have hoped to easily attain remained hidden in the depths of the mind of the witness and suspect number one: Tsukishima Kei.

The hostile environment that suffocated them on their first visit after trying to coax the information out of him have eased only to give way to a freezing cold air, as icy as the very same Pole North, in-between lapses that the agent MI06’s misanthropic attitude drove them both batshit. 

“Agent MI06!” Inspector Ukai cried out, rising to his feet before the viscous liquid that was dripping on the table could fall on his legs. “Could you stop taunting us?!”

Inspector Takeda beside him was starting to sweat bullets, observing how his partner was at his limit. Ukai’s face had reddened to such an extent that he was afraid that any time soon he’d give in to a heart attack. Looking at him with underlying panic, Takeda smacked lightly his shoulder to get his attention and remind him that they’d achieve nothing by getting wound up, because then any possibility of dialogue would die on the spot and the visit would conclude in resounding failure, the same way it went on two previously occasions. 

“Oh, I do beg your pardon, inspector. As you can see, someone’s manners tend to be forgotten when, after spending time for so long confined, the government's ass-kissers suddenly show up on your property offering you a beer as nauseating as this one,” Agent MI06 retorted, cynically, as he jiggled the can with genuine intention of draining it to the last drop. “I’ve been offered better bribes, inspector, that I can assure you.”

The five pieces of melonpan they’d bought to sympathize with the evil, now soaked in beer, remained untouched in the basket at the center of the table, evolving second by second into a single, soggy dough, that just by staring at it provoked the inspectors to gag. The author of such atrocity remained relatively indifferent, if you ignored his by default frown, which only succeeded on worsening inspector Ukai’s visible bad mood.

“Agent you don’t understand, do you?! Your badge is at stake!” Hollered the inspector with the dyed hair, bumping his hands on the drenched marble of the table.

Suddenly bursting into laughter, agent MI06 hugged his own ribs unable to hold back for much longer, under the astonished and thoughtful gaze of inspector Takeda. It was the first time that the subject of interrogation showcased a different reaction other than the blatant apathy he used to exhibit.

If they played their cards right, maybe it could lead to a good dialogue.

“I’m asking you now, inspector Ukai, do you honestly believe that at this point I give a damn about that kind of frivolities?” He inquired, tossing the can of beer at the ground before jiggling a pack of cigarettes, presumably empty. “Nothing would please more than to dissociate myself from such a pathetic badge.”

Or perhaps not, inspector Takeda contradicted himself, jumping out of his seat to stop his triggered partner who intended to go straight to agent MI06’s throat, enraged. He had to muster all of his strength for his thin wrists to not to budge before Ukai’s brute force, whose arms were being pinned behind his back by the much smaller hands of his partner, flapping like a fish out of water and seeking for his promptly liberation.

“Tsukishima-kun, that was completely unnecessary!” Takeda Ittetsu finally intervened. “If it weren’t for Senior Commissioner Ukai and the whole team, at this very moment you would be rotting away in prison!” 

“Oh, do you really think so? Because what I think is that his dirty little secrets not soiling my shoes is the only thing I should really feel grateful for.”

“And, what exactly would be those dirty little secrets that you’re talking about?”

Tsukishima Kei’s eyes hidden behind his glasses lacked vividness and the accentuated bags under his eyes didn’t make anything better other than emphasized the obscurity in them. However, for a split second, those dull orbs shimmered like deadly fire, preventing both inspectors from breathing. Inspector Takeda subsequently let his partner go, who after flailing out to no avail handed over to the other the reins, understanding that in his heated condition he’d only get to fuel the agent’s antipathy and nothing more.

“To be asking such trifles… did you even open the files from two years ago?”

“The files went astray after the fire that took place months ago in the criminal investigation headquarters.”

“What about the database?”

“Unavailable since Senior Commissioner Ukai’s admission to the hospital.”

“Is there something that in your incompetence you did actually retrieve?”

“Tsukishima-kun, I think it’s obvious that if we’re here it’s because you’re our last resort,” He interrupted the string of inquiries in a stern voice. “The case of the nuclear plants and its connection with Oikawa’s Corporations… Could you tell us about what happened back in your days, as an active detective working for the Metropolitan Police’s squad of criminal investigation?”

Agent MI06 rose without a word and all of a sudden, making the inspectors’ hair stand on end. The detective’s height that he took advantage from had always been a quality pretty much threatening, especially now, taking into account the facts. Only when said person turned his back on them and quietly headed to the kitchen’s counter to pop the kettle on, they felt like they could start breathing again. 

“Tell me, inspectors,” Demanded the blonde with the glasses as he looked for a tea bag inside a cupboard. “Are you heavily skeptical?”

“Well, in our line of work, it certainly becomes hard believing in what a man of religion preaches.”

“I’m not talking about beliefs of religious nature, gentlemen.”

“Huh? I’m not following. Does this have anything to do with the case 3334S or are you just fooling around to make us waste our time?” Asking that, inspector Ukai regained his participation on the matter.

“You’re wrong, inspector. It has everything to do with it.” Agent MI06 asserted, as he settled back to face the inspectors once again.

The blonde stared into the eyes of the inspector with the dyed hair as he plotted something that both visitors couldn’t quite put their fingers on. When Agent MI06 finally averted his eyes, he roughly shoved his left hand in his pants pocket and drew from it his wallet. After adjusting his glasses that were slipping down off his nose, he precisely grabbed some cash and tossed it towards inspector Ukai.

“There’s a tobacco shop a few blocks from here. Go get me a pack.”

Inspector Takeda couldn’t hide his weariness anymore, evident in the deep sigh that escaped from his mouth. How many more times he’d have to prevent his partner from clobbering the blonde with glasses, he couldn’t say for sure.

“Who do you think I am?! An errand boy?!"

“If you expect a nicotine addict like me to talk about the Conspiracy against humanity on a Thursday evening, when I still have work to do… the least you could possibly do is do me this little favor, don’t you think so?”

“You’re nuts if—”

“Enough, Ukai. Go get him what he’s asking for,” Inspector Takeda interrupted him.

“But...”

“Tsukishima-kun, excuse us for a moment. I’d like to have a word in private with inspector Ukai.”

Agent MI06 just shrugged and smirked at inspector Ukai, who in turn gave him the middle finger before reluctantly going after his partner. Once they were in the residency’s living room, and far away from agent MI06’s ears, Ukai Keishin did not waste a second in expressing his disgruntlement.

“He’s playing with us, Takeda! Pressing for the testimony of a whack job is useless!"

“Said whack job dismantled a whole corruption network, Ukai. Don’t you forget that, without him, we wouldn’t have this job and you wouldn’t even know where to start looking for a way to clear your father’s name.”

“Are you seriously saying that clearing out my old man’s honour depends on that punk?!” He stressed this in a quiet, as much as his exaltation allowed him to, voice.

Pacing back and forth in the middle of the living room, Ukai leaned forward to reach the wall and rip one of the thousands weird drawings that were attached in the extension of the wall, like a really bad attempt of childish wallpapering, and shoved it on inspector Takeda’s face.

“These are crop circles! Thousands of them displayed in the whole damn residency! If i went to the toilet I wouldn’t be surprised to found one of these in the stall. Are you going to tell me that this is normal? Who knows if the responsible of the nuclear plants wasn’t—”

“That is not our business,” Takeda interrupted him, in a foul mood. “Neither is Tsukishima-kun’s condition. So you’re going to settle for my good judgment of character and hope to obtain a testimony, reasonable enough to reopen the case.”

The inspector with the dyed hair ran a hand across his face and swore something unintelligible under his breath, weighing his options. On the rare occasions his partner took on the role of an authority figure, he used to have legitimate reasons. Honestly speaking, out of the two, Takeda had always been the only one able to tune in with personalities as complicated as the very same agent MI06; a solid virtue that not many recognized, nonetheless absolutely important in the field. 

And who was him to not to trust in such ability, after so many years in which he could put it on test. Therefore, clicking his tongue, he ripped the paper into pieces and tossed it to the ground, quickly turning for the residency’s entrance before he could end up regretting it.

“You’d better make him talk!” He demanded, slamming the door. 

Appreciating the quiet of the residency in those moments, inspector Takeda contemplated on the points that Ukai Keishin had raised aloud. Naturally, even himself, had his reservations regarding everything related to case 3334S and agent MI06. All the information he had gathered so far was vague, ambiguous, and inconclusive. There weren’t previous records on the corruption incident that culminated in the dismantling of the squad of criminal investigation. And even on the incident on itself, there was nothing more than what Tsukishima Kei, whose motives remained unknown to every single earthling, had leaked onto the internet. 

What had happened before the ticking bomb exploded? No one besides agent MI06 seemed to have the answer for that question. The case of the nuclear plants and Oikawa Corporations continued being an enigma and as for its relationship with case 3334S there was nothing more than bizarre conjectures, with no thread of reasoning. No matter how hard the citizens of Tokyo pushed the government for the truth, this was undermined by the wrongdoings of a group of individuals, with questionable morals, that managed to destroy all the evidence that could help to reopen the investigation.

Takeda Ittetsu considered himself to be a diligent person concerning his duties. If his seniors acted to potentially harm a third party, he’d not rest until he sees them behind bars and with a sentence akin to their crimes. Precisely those same values encouraged him to put up with Agent MI06’s bad temper and lend an ear to listen to a side of the story that’d only probably serve to raise more doubts and twists. But… if the intel he obtained turned out to be an essential piece to solve that puzzle, he could absolutely ignore Tsukishima Kei’s emaciated face, how dangerous thin he was, and his witty and ironic remarks that made him feel uncomfortable to a fault.

Moving back into the kitchen with light steps, inspector Takeda couldn’t help but admire the paranoid and gloomy looking agent MI06, who was leaning over the window and peering through the blinds to the outside of the residency. There was something in his eyes that managed to drew his attention, for some reason he couldn’t exactly pinpoint. If he had to explain it in some way, every time that he analyzed the other’s golden orbs the feeling that came to him was that they had witnessed things no human should ever see.

Perhaps, that’s why neither he nor Ukai could give up on agent MI06.

“If Ukai recording the conversation bothered you that much, you could have asked him to turn off his phone.”

“Fellows as stubborn as him always have an ace up their sleeve. Can’t trust him.” the blonde replied without looking at him, still focused on watching through the window.

“Aren’t you being a little too paranoid?”

“Not enough.”

“Tsukishima-kun… could we pick up where we left off?” Inspector Takeda insisted, sitting down at the table.

Agent MI06 did a one last perimeter check, and pouring water in his teacup, proceeded to face inspector Takeda at last.

“You did not answer my question.”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you skeptical?” He inquired, between sips.

“In a lot of aspects of my life… I am.” He finally confessed, folding his hands over the table. “...Weren’t you the same, though? I remember meeting you before, years ago, when you were taking your entrance examination for the squad of criminal investigation, and the impression I got from you was that your values weren’t that different from the rest of us."

“And I still am, I’m afraid. No matter the circumstances, my programming will always be the same."

“Would it change something if we weren’t?”

“Maybe I wouldn’t feel like I utterly lost my mind in the last two years.”

“Then, Tsukishima-kun, let me ask you the same thing my partner did,” Takeda cleared his throat before continuing. “Does this have anything to do with case 3334S?” 

Agent MI06 snorted as he sat down on his chair, annoyed.

“Because then the events leading up to the case wouldn’t make sense and I have no intention in wasting my breath explaining something that you’d rule out as the testimony of a madman. You’d have to see to believe, inspector. And there certainly are things worth turning a blind eye.”

“Agent MI06, at this point, I have no interest in your testimony,” Takeda stated, looking seriously at his companion who genuinely seemed overwhelmed by his retort. “I’d say rather, my real interest lies in detective Tsukishima Kei’s testimony.”

“Let’s test how skeptical I really am.”

The blonde with glasses found itself stunned by such an eloquent speech, and for the first time in quite a while, he stopped frowning. Officers like the one he had right in front of him were few, much less one who insisted on hearing about what was hidden behind so many ironies and verbal riddles that led to nowhere. It was also the first time in a while that he was actually pondering whether or not to speak about what had happened back in the days. The mere fact that he was considering it put his hair on end.

Tsukishima Kei thought about it long and hard, to the regret of inspector Takeda. Only when he started thinking that he was wasting a lifetime, the blonde finally nodded his head, accepting his request. 

“For the record: I’m not taking responsibility for anything you may do with this information.”

“Of course.”

“I’m not taking responsibility for your mental health, neither.”

Takeda smiled, pleased, before wholeheartedly answering again.

“Of course."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this prologue and that it interested you enough to read the next chapter.


End file.
